Long Time Gone

With all the descriptions that meterologists use to talk about climate, one would think they'd have a term for "yellow-colored air due to nearby forest fires." At least that's what I thought of today when I looked outside and the first word that came to mind about the day was "yellow," and the fact that there are about 800 forest fires state-wide.

It's annoying that even after Hilary Clinton conceded the nomination (sort of), the pundits spend half their time talking about the Senator and her husband and who will mend the damage they've caused the party with their millions of dollars of debt. Someone pointed out that Bill probably wants his legacy to be as the best two-term Democratic president of modern political history, and that he probably feels threatened by Barack Obama, the young, charismatic upstart who is a bit like the similarly-talented Bill when he first ran for president. I also think that Bill blows up at the media so often because he's venting the frustration he felt at eight years of [perceived] mistreated by the media. Whether he was treated unfairly or not is a different story, but I do think he feels slighted by several events, including the Republican Congressional landslide that made it difficult to get any of his stuff passed. I think he's a very bitter, complicated, and smart man.

Ralph Nader went off the deep end today when addressing the racial dynamics of Barack's presidential bid. His racial discourse sounds about 30 years old, as he used phrases like "white guilt" and reduced Barack's value as a human to the color of his skin. My new favorite New York Times reporter, Bob Herbert, managed to skewer Nader with language that didn't sound remotely one-sided, the way pundit-ese can sound. Chris Matthews invited Herbert and Joan somebody, managing editor of Salon or Slate, which I keep confusing, to discuss Nader's gaffe. Maybe that's why they brought it up, since "gaffe" appears to be the buzzword of this news cycle, thanks to John McCain's advisor's remark about how another 9/11-like attack would help McCain's candidacy.

While we're on the subject (I've been volunteering/working with the Obama campaign since March and have heard about little else for some time), I know I've changed a lot in the months I've been away, and it's hard to find a writer's voice again. Plus a lot of this stuff is personal and still shifting around inside, so this is a bit of forced writing, for now, at the behest of friends and family who remind me that this period of my life is particularly worth recording. At the moment I'm thinking of Jiles, the African-American guy with the Irish name who said that when he's angry, he's a black man, but the rest of the time he's African-American. A native Indianan, he volunteered in our Indianapolis office.

It's been months since I've posted and I can't think of anything to say. It's a cliché, but I'm out of inspiration. There are too many experiences to digest, I think, and some perspective is needed before I can process much of what has happened. I am reading about the Dust Bowl, however, which is interesting since it's more of a man-made environmental disaster than I realized. The Great Depression sounds rather nasty, too. No wonder my dad won't eat stewed tomatoes, 70 years later! I'm curious as to the effect Dust Bowl refugees to Southern California may or may not have had on the conservative political climate there. I've just returned from South Dakota and do miss the silence. The lack of electro-magnetic energy is deafening, almost; at least noticeably absent. Felt a bit like a campground, as our housing was on the edge of town, with nothing but big sky and an even bigger landscape dominating. The weather, too, was always an event. Thund...

I used to think that succumbing to bitterness was the logical response to certain events, and that furthermore, I was justified in being bitter. As they say, though, you can be happy or you can be right. I'm not choosing between those options today, but I think it's time to let go of a bit of the "I've been wronged and therefore I'm justified being however angry or bitter I care to be." While I may be justified, being bitter makes me lose twice, and I can't afford to lose any more.