The Onion

Street Evangelist Saves 300 Souls From Enjoying Park

The Onion

Street Evangelist Saves 300 Souls From Enjoying Park

SAN FRANSISCO—"All of you will burn in hellfire, so sayeth the Lord," said open-air preacher "Brother Sam" Hinson to a stroller-bound toddler and her picknicking parents.


Deficit-Wracked Maryland Calls It Quits

The Onion

Deficit-Wracked Maryland Calls It Quits

ANNAPOLIS, MD—Citing mounting debt and a decline in tourism dollars, the state of Maryland will shut down for good on August 31, Maryland Gov. Robert L. Ehrlich Jr. told reporters Monday.

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