"People Talking Without Speaking"
"... and the words of the prophets are written on the subway wall."
That song has been in my head all day, Paul Simon's "Sound of Silence." It narrated my summer at Harvard where I learned how to believe in myself and not bow to peer pressure, that it is ok to be smart, and it's ok to be attractive and smart, that there are small corners of the world where it's ok to be both, where men expect attractive women to be intelligent and appreciate them for it, and are not intimidated (and who also don't mind run-on sentences). There are people like me out there. I do have a place in the world, and I do belong. People do and will value me for who I am, and I have to let them. It's OK to believe in myself again because I'm starting to become myself again. My confidence is returning. I am returning. I have a mental illness, and I am not ashamed. I take six different medications everyday, and it's not because I'm weak. I swallow 12 pills per day because my brain can't work properly by itself. It took years to figure that out, though, and years to fix it after that. Psychiatry's an imperfect science, folks. There is no "take two of these and call me in the morning."
What's more important than getting compliments is being loved. That's it. It's not about compliments or trying to be "better" than others. That's a cold and lonely place where others can't cuddle you.
"If you look within, you will never go without."
Suze Orman
That song has been in my head all day, Paul Simon's "Sound of Silence." It narrated my summer at Harvard where I learned how to believe in myself and not bow to peer pressure, that it is ok to be smart, and it's ok to be attractive and smart, that there are small corners of the world where it's ok to be both, where men expect attractive women to be intelligent and appreciate them for it, and are not intimidated (and who also don't mind run-on sentences). There are people like me out there. I do have a place in the world, and I do belong. People do and will value me for who I am, and I have to let them. It's OK to believe in myself again because I'm starting to become myself again. My confidence is returning. I am returning. I have a mental illness, and I am not ashamed. I take six different medications everyday, and it's not because I'm weak. I swallow 12 pills per day because my brain can't work properly by itself. It took years to figure that out, though, and years to fix it after that. Psychiatry's an imperfect science, folks. There is no "take two of these and call me in the morning."
What's more important than getting compliments is being loved. That's it. It's not about compliments or trying to be "better" than others. That's a cold and lonely place where others can't cuddle you.
"If you look within, you will never go without."
Suze Orman
Comments
I just wanted to let you know that I happened by your blog home provided to me via link and just wanted you to know someone read your words today, your voice was heard, and you indeed do have a place in this world, an important place.
More importantly than anyone else valuing you, you are valued just because you are you, because you are a perfect creation just as you are, just as you were meant to be.
And the way you end this blog post is absolutely right on. When you go within, and you see the light that lives inside of you, you will never be without.
Blessings of peace and joy to you this day.