Psychic Hemorraging

My hair is falling out like crazy and I miss it so much. I used to have such beautiful hair; now my body is a used-up chemical wasteland. The last time I felt pretty was when I was 15.

I don't like all the noise here. I don't like noise after 10pm or before 10am. I must sound very old. When I was a kid I swore I'd never be dull or listless like some of the adults around me seemed. I really value quiet, and don't know when/if I'll be able to experience a quiet home again. I really miss our old house.

I don't understand why X is so cold and opportunistic. It's quite bizarre. She's a social climber and it seems that once she has no use for you, you don't exist. When I don't get emails it's like a knife to the heart. I don't feel truly close to anyone right now; X and its fallout keep people away. I still have a headache. I hope it won't keep me awake.

This is so relaxing and so much more relevant to my life than school. I used to be so into school; now I just want out. It's sad. I want to read fun books and catch up from X on who I am, what I've been missing out on, etc. I'm not really ready for this blog to become public; I just want a safe space to talk and get my stuff out there and learn who I really am without feedback from an "audience."

I really don't want to worry about my weight anymore. I REALLY don't. I am sick of it. I really need to start earning some money; not sure where to begin. Money is power; Suze Orman is my favorite personal finance guru.

I love how CTU has such fast and thorough access to information on "24". I wish I could do what they can! Seems like it would be fun to work in such a fast-paced environment; particularly if I got to work with Jack Bauer (even better if he liked me!).

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