Long Time Gone

the problem is that you can't tell anyone about it, because it's just too sad, dark, and depressing. that increases the isolation and the distance between me and others. and it prevents me from making new connections with people, which taxes old connections. sometimes i feel like tv is my best friend.

I think the USPS guy has a crush on my supervisor. It's so cute--they talk about their new washing machines and the fruit growing in their gardens. She's 80, he's a bit younger. Someone sent Joyce a coconut from Hawaii--literally. It arrived with her address written on it. I'm feeling a tad better this morning. I don't think it's the caffeine, which can perk me up, but really irritates my system. Steed stopped by for his four packages yesterday and another request for a box lid for his blackberry-picking hobby. March of the Tuition-Payers: More calls coming in from folks wishing to pay tuition (not really wanting to, but, you know). Quite a few for Human Resources, too.

Freddo in "The Godfather," Hitler, Stalin, treachery, backstabbing, heavy drinking, others...

The feisty Congresswoman from Detroit gives Colbert a run for his O'Reilly-esque humor.

Stephen confounds a "hard-working," pro-gun, Democratic Congressman from Ohio.

Share it here! See if we can bring more awareness to our woeful un-healthcare system, for whatever it might be worth.

It's funny how "The Daily Show" analyzes and critiques current events more than the "real" news does, and Jon Stewart asks much more informed and penetrating and interesting questions than the mainstream, network people ever do. A parallel between the Nixon Administration and the Bush Administration? Can you say "obfuscate" three times quickly? This British guy is fluent in anti-Semitic Chinese...?

Because they're finally offering free, embeddable Colbert Report videos!!!!!

White Ho tonight, lots of kings dragging around. White Russians, too; though hopefully no sergeants of any kind. I signed up for my first copyediting class today! Very exciting. And it will keep me in touch with the East Bay, as long as I can make it out to the classes each Tuesday eve.

Revised Patriot Act Will Make It Illegal To Read Patriot Act WASHINGTON, DC-President Bush spoke out Monday in support of a revised version of the 2001 USA Patriot Act that would make it illegal to read the USA Patriot Act.

Addressing Climate Crisis, Bush Calls For Development Of National Air Conditioner WASHINGTON, DC—"We must act now so that our children's children can live in a world without sweat," said president Bush, justifying the project's $100 trillion price tag.

if he knew i was lifting packages at my job. he gets upset when i lift anything on my own, as he thinks it's his job. what a gem. it's funny how snippy i get about having to lift boxes at my job; my first instinct is to get someone else to do it, as i simply don't do that stuff. where i come from, men lift stuff for women. it's that simple. i don't appreciate having that taken away from me by the illness. since none of you could possibly comprehend my situation, i don't expect anyone to understand how i feel about this. i'm experiencing a lot of rage and anger these days. i think i've been lashing out at friends without even realizing it. i'm angry at everyone and everything. slice of humble pie for diana (more like humiliation, as i never chose this for myself). my friends are doctors, lawyers, professors, and moms, and i humiliate myself at the mail and copy center for a living (temporarily, but still; i'm tired of being reduced to shi...

I'd be this stressed out if neighbor China wanted me dead, too. Politics as usual in Taipei.

Murder Mystery On Train Not So Fun In Real Life TOMAH, WI—"I thought this thing was supposed to slowly unfold, not drag on forever in some middle-of-nowhere cornfield," complained one bleary-eyed passenger.

Uncles are supposed to take care of their families. Uncle Sam isn't taking care of me or people in my situation. He took 15% out of my paycheck, when I've been living on $9000 per year because of the inept way SSDI works. I'm pretty sure the Founding Fathers would not agree with such wanton neglect of citizens in true need, who aren't lazy bums, as the popular misconception among the healthy goes.

...to make Diana very sad? Just one, it turns out. Especially when he's just my type (or close to it). My life just wasn't meant to be. I don't appreciate reminders of that fact.

is that I developed bipolar and he didn't. He was Harvard class of 1998, I was Pomona class of 1999. He's tenure-track faculty w/a Phd, I work in the mail room. How much do you want to bet our IQs are the same? He's just my type, and I'll bet we're of similar age. The irony. Rather, the tragedy.

Bloopers.

John Madden is the only one of the bunch who really gets away with his adorable non sequitors and hilarious way of putting the simplest concepts and observations. Terry Bradshaw is a close second. The rest of them, though, no matter which sport, have this way of trying to sound smarter than they are and using terms they clearly don't understand. It seems unique to sportscasters, and I don't know why.

I'm watching the absolutely preposterous UFC, and I don't know whether to laugh or throw up. It honestly seems like a different planet; as if a UFO landed in the stadium as the octagon in which these men/beasts/modern-day gladiators perform/fight. For those with any know, I'm watching UFCs #1-5, during the blood-and-guts phase of this no-holds-barred, mixed martial arts monstrosity.

They sent a package of dry-erase markers here to Mills in an enormous cardboard box filled with stuffing. How wasteful. Someone is not climbing aboard the climate-crisis bandwagon!

I just love this guy on "So You Think You Can Dance," and I also like Pasha, the flamboyant, charismatic Russian ballroom dancer. Love it. And, Wade Robson is a genius. He just about elevates the show to fine art, whether it's a Broadway-inspired or a truly unique quasi ballet-jazz piece that left the audience in a hushed silence before applause. I'm sure he could do absolutely anything in the industry. He seems humble, too, which takes the cake. It's such a trite thing to say, but Robson works holistically--from the ground up, from the very foundation of a concept, through the movement, until the two meet somewhere in the hearts of the audience and dancers. I think the choreographers in the show do an amazing job overall, mostly, but I think Robson is in a category by himself. He's the one who testified in the Michael Jackson trial, by the way, because he knew Jackson as a kid and even participated in some of Jackson's dubious "sleepovers" ...

John Edwards Vows To End All Bad Things By 2011 DES MOINES, IA—Edwards' "Only the Good Things" proposal builds on previous efforts to end bad things such as skinned knees, curse words, and splinters.

I just saw Mr. Lawson! It is such a treat to see him. It reminds me how happy a time graduation was and how discouraging things have been since. It was a wonderful reminder of the optimism I had then and the good times in the government dept at Mills that was had by all. I really bonded with my fellow IR majors. Good times.

So far I'm paying an average of $50 for a basket of groceries at Safeway that I would normally pay about $30 for at Trader Joe's. The good news is that there are several Trader Joe's opening up in the Oakland/Berkeley area. Hopefully before my housesitting gig is up!

New Titanic Film Told From Iceberg's Point Of View LOS ANGELES—Director James Cameron told Variety yesterday of his intentions to write and direct the Academy Award–winning...

Welcome To T.G.I. Fridays! May I Annoy The Living Shit Out Of You? Hi, welcome to T.G.I. Fridays! May I annoy the living shit out of you? My name is Jenni, and I'll be your incredibly irritating server tonight! So, how are you folks doing this evening? Great!

Condoleezza Rice has been out of the media spotlight for quite awhile. This is probably deliberate. Is anything going right for the Bush administration?

Single Bee Sends Gathering Of Humans Into Helpless Panic DALLAS, TX—Civil engineer, marathon runner, and Gulf War veteran Scott Fogel leaped back several feet and hid behind a waste can to escape the .03-ounce insect.

Michael Moore should do more stand-up comedy. He does some in his earlier films, like his HBO specials and "The Big One." He's actually quite good at it. He's comfortable in front of an audience and tells stories with ease, almost as if you'd run into him at the corner store and he's sharing what he did over the weekend with you. He's folksy.

Couple Doesn't Deserve Deck LUBBOCK, TX—A coalition of residents at the Winding Brook subdivision announced Monday that neighbors Stanley and Janet Mann do not deserve...

How much longer does the Pakistani president have left--not in office, but on the planet? He seems to be making new enemies every day, with his rhetoric about wiping Pakistan clean of Islamic militants in a nation that seems to spawn more anti-Western hatred by the day. Even back when Daniel Pearl was needlessly murdered in 2002, Mariane Pearl described Musharraf as a man who knew he was wanted and whose regime was fragile. I really think he's approaching a critical breaking point. An assassination attempt was made just last week on his life.

Buying up everything in sight, trying to edge out all of the competition.

I caught part of Stone Phillip's old interview with Jeffrey Dahmer last night. What a peculiar guy. I was following everything "Jeff" said until he fell into "I have accepted Jesus Christ as my personal savior" schtick. Otherwise, he described his unbelievable behavior in a detached narrative. He seemed to realize that what he did was not normal and technically not OK, yet his desires were so woven into his personality that he could be only partially objective. He said around age 15 most of his thoughts were so abnormal that he could not share them with anyone. He believes everyone is accountable for their own actions and therefore his parents are not to blame for his murders. His reasoning becomes flawed, though, as he dismisses evolution and genetics as "fiction," claiming God is the beginning and end of everything. My hopes were briefly raised when he accepted responsbility for his actions, but his reasoning was flawed. What a peculiar guy. ...

For some reason, the two pairs of sandals I purchased on sale at JCrew were originally $125 each! The horror! I paid $22 for each pair, on sale! I love a bargain; it almost feels like cheating the overinflated prices of the retail industry. Good times.

I was always told that you'll get a great job once you graduate from college. Or rather, that having the degree was the key. Then why is it that I'm applying to tons of places and not even hearing back? I hate working at the Mail and Copy Center. It puts me to sleep. It's tedious and miserable and not even worth writing about. It's hard getting on my feet and I'm irritated. I worked so hard to get here, and things are still hard. I'm tired of it. I'm not sleeping well because I have to get up to be at work by 9am. Sleep deprivation is not the natural state of things. I don't even feel part of the world yet. I still feel like an outsider. I absolutely hate my job. Anyone can do it. I should have whatever job I want at this point, were it not for bipolar, which continues to ruin, destroy, and take away my life. I'm so tired I don't even feel like grocery shopping, especially since Safeway has such gross produce, and everything else is...

Relations Break Down Between U.S. And Them WASHINGTON, DC-After decades of antagonism between the two global powers, the U.S. has officially severed relations with Them, Bush administration officials announced Tuesday.

The main difference between the healthcare systems in the United States and countries like Britain and Canada isn't money--we are certainly wealthy enough to provide for every citizen--rather, it's our attitude. In Michael Moore's "Sicko," interviews with several Canadians and Brits reveal that their values are in a different place--they care about the well-being of their fellow citizens. We don't; or at least we're not willing to pay slightly higher taxes so that everyone's needs can be met. Rather than saying "your insurance doesn't cover it," people in those nations never turn away anyone in need. They choose compassion over capitalism. The interviewees reacted with horror when Moore told them stories of patients in the US routinely being denied critical services. They had an attitude of "that would never happen here; if someone is in need, of course we're going to help." It's not the economy. It's our values...

One of the things that I so appreciated about the film "Judgment at Nuremburg" was that it totally problematized the notion that all Nazis were evil, which is so much easier to believe than that there was any complexity to the situation at all. The film "Stalingrad" is another such film. It's a German production, and really doesn't focus on Nazism that much. It portrays the German army from the inside, with enlisted soldiers, who hardly know why they're fighting. Again, it made it much more difficult to believe that every single German soldier was pure evil. Granted, anyone in the German army during World War II pretty much was a thug, in that they contributed to the murderous and totally unnecessary German war machine. But a lot of the soldiers in the film didn't want to fight, didn't believe in it, wanted to desert, did desert, stopped believing in any "cause" at all.

Compelling and gripping, already. And I'm only on page 27. Well-written. The first few lines almost had me in tears. Daniel Pearl is the kind of husband I want, and their marriage is the kind of marriage I would like (sans tragic ending, of course). Their international-travel kind of lifestyle is the one that I want, as are their professional writing careers.

The process of recovery from bipolar is like another mood swing in itself. Some days I feel I can cope and things are looking up; other days it's all doom and gloom. And that's not the illness; it's coping with disaster. I need to find the language to describe what happened, because there currently is no discourse for it. It must be created, just as I had to create my own treatment plan since there currently aren't any. I'm at a cafe on College Ave in Oakland, surfing the net, having an iced mocha, and waiting for yoga class to begin. As I get older, I'm starting to realize the importance of exercise and self-maintenance. I'm only 30, but there are big changes in my body and health already. My dad and grandfather both have and had Alzheimer's, so chances are I'm a strong candidate for it as well. With bipolar also cutting my life short on this end, I'd be happy with a good two decades, at this point. Or any quality of life at all. I saw Mi...

The "Family Jewels" are newly unclassified CIA documents; it's a wonder the Bush administration let this happen.

And so far, so have I. I need people in my life who don't freak out when I go through tough times, and don't automatically jump to fix the problem. That's something I should heed, too, since listening is often better than trying to fix.

A joke my dad used to make on our answering machine message. Seriously, though; should we really be acting as if violence in the media is so novel, when in ancient Rome vicious animals tore people to pieces in front of a cheering crowd of tens of thousands? Has that much really changed?

I'm Prepared To Give My Life For This Or Any Country As a true patriot, I would gladly die in battle defending my homeland. I love my country more than my own life. But I would also be more than...

A really annoying, high-strung, nightmare kind of bride-to-be is seated at the table next to me with her fiancé and some kind of wedding planner, who as an older, heterosexual man looks like the last person one would expect to be a wedding planner. She reminds me of those happy-go-lucky types who have never had anything go wrong in their lives. She has a big wedding binder organized by color, section, notes, stickers, etc., in front of her and is wearing a cutsey little white fluffy skirt and is accessorized like something out of an expensive boutique. It's just so irritating. These days I can't stand that kind of naïvete. I feel so angry at every person walking down the street who looks remotely normal because I'm coming to terms with what happened to me. I feel like staring each one of them down. I just know too much about why people marry, how often they marry for the wrong reasons and regret it, etc. The odds that this couple will be a happy couple for the next 5...

Independently-owned coffee places that offer free wifi should really make a killing with it, hopefully, since it's in such high demand and I think a lot of laptop-loving folks show up almost soley because of the free broadband. Hopefully the increase in business will compensate for the cost of the wifi. Starbucks of course jumps on the corporate bandwagon, requiring customers to pay for access via one of the major carriers. This is ironic, since as a big corporation, Starbucks would presumably be in the strongest position to offer free wifi. Funny how stingy big corporations can be.

Gambling-Addiction Study Gets Out Of Hand LAS VEGAS, NV-A gambling-addiction study by researchers at UNLV's Gaming Studies Research Center has "gotten way out of hand," sources close to the project reported Monday.

Bush likens his Iraq war to the American Revolutionary War. What a crock. I wonder what Jefferson, Adams, Hamilton, Franklin, and Washington would have to say about that, and about the war, for that matter.

After a brief nap, I managed to snap out of my inertia to go to the gas station, do some grocery shopping at Safeway (my first real grocery shop as an independent woman!), and visit Blockbuster for some flicks. Their store on Shattuck is the best I've sen in years--the quality of Blockbuster seems to go down all the time, but this one actually has a decent inventory. I like Berkeley. I rented "Stalingrad," made by the same people who produced "Das Boot;" "Black Orpheus," which is the classic Brazilian film based on a Greek myth, and "LA Confidential," just for fun. I've seen it a couple times and like it. I have such fond memories of block parties we'd attend on our old street in Los Altos, Clay Drive, when I was a kid. That was when firecrackers were still legal, and we could play with little ones like sparklers and rockets. Such fond memories of summers in general, as a kid.

My problem with the Scooter Libby circus is that justice was applied unevenly--Cheney is much more of a schmuck than Libby is, and he's not been brought to justice. I guess that Libby really did break the law, though, and ought to receive fair punishment according to the law. I don't see any particular reason for his sentence to be commuted as long as it was fair to begin with. I think the presidential pardon should be used much more selectively than it is. I just think that Cheney is probably guilty of a lot more and he's getting away with it.

I'm a little disappointed with this season's "So You Think You Can Dance," because head judge Nigel seems to be taking a page from "American Idol"'s infamous Simon Cowell who routinely tears performers to shreds. Pretty unnecessary. It was ratings gold for "Idol," though, and I'm really hoping that Nigel hasn't resorted to such terror tactics just for the sake of ratings. He seems a lot meaner and more sarcastic this year. Does anyone else think that that skinny, weird Anna Nicole fan who is from another planet is a meth addict? He has that weird complexion, the same "look," the clothing, bad teeth, "tweaker" feel about him.