Up and Down

The process of recovery from bipolar is like another mood swing in itself. Some days I feel I can cope and things are looking up; other days it's all doom and gloom. And that's not the illness; it's coping with disaster.

I need to find the language to describe what happened, because there currently is no discourse for it. It must be created, just as I had to create my own treatment plan since there currently aren't any.

I'm at a cafe on College Ave in Oakland, surfing the net, having an iced mocha, and waiting for yoga class to begin. As I get older, I'm starting to realize the importance of exercise and self-maintenance. I'm only 30, but there are big changes in my body and health already.

My dad and grandfather both have and had Alzheimer's, so chances are I'm a strong candidate for it as well. With bipolar also cutting my life short on this end, I'd be happy with a good two decades, at this point. Or any quality of life at all.

I saw Michael Moore's "Sicko" last night with Heather and Jenny, in a sold-out show. The line for the next showing was already out the door as we left. It's clear that this film is striking a huge chord for Americans, many of whom feel left out of the political process completely.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

We Are Human

it's how we deal with it that matters. had a long talk over lunch with misrak about racism. she has a lot to say, and a lot to deal with. she talked about the appalling attitude of a woman she recently worked with. it's very eye-opening to hear "the other side of the story," i.e. a person of color talking about being on the receiving end of racism. it's heartbreaking and horrifying, and an education in itself. lots of work remains to be done.
Read more

The Clear Light of Day

my mom helped me put a piece of the puzzle into place today. it's all about clarity; and the more clearly i see it for what it really is, the more able i am to let go of it. we had talked about abuse and repeating behavior patterns, etc., and agreed that we were both committed to doing things differently. the abuse began to sneak in, though, and i can see that sh*t coming a mile away and knew exactly what it was when it hit. and, i didn't believe it. in retrospect, that's what it was. a kink in her operating system she wasn't dealing with. automatic danger. it's one thing if folks are prepared to deal with all of their stuff, but if they're in denial about anything, it's just going to get larger and larger until something is done. it was always going to go in just one direction. the signs were there. there really is such a thing as "too good to be true." if that's "too good to be true," then what's the real deal? where
Read more

Trimming the Fat

weeding through my entire blog--there are almost 1400 posts! quality over quantity; getting rid of stuff that seems irrelevent or misplaced or superfluous or otherwise dissatisfactory. saw a great documentary on the History Channel today about Hitler's family. turns out there are still a few living in the US! they've also had a good series on the SS, but, most importantly, tomorrow night they start the entire " Band of Brothers " series! i never tire of watching it. literally! i'm 15 pounds lighter with muscle to boot. can't believe it. cutting sugar and flour really works. started bob tonight, just love it. i'd like to get the soundtrack. dentist on friday. i'd like to get my blog to about 1000 posts. quite time consuming. turning in is the answer, not out. growth, expansion, new life. it's about time. i am so stale, and i can hardly breathe in here. the window hasn't been open for ages, and i cannot feel fresh air on my face or see the out
Read more