A New Day
*one big sigh*
I feel like my school year has finally ended. tomorrow I leave with my family for Hawaii, a favorite destination of ours ever since my parents honeymooned there in 1965.
i'm dragging my heels with packing. i just can't wait to feel the warm island air on my skin, the smell of hibiscus, hear hawaiian music and spend all day listening to the waves crash on the beach. i can't wait for pristine, warm, ocean water again, in which i can swim and play and ride the waves all day long. that's really all i have planned, with a possible excursion to the sole starbucks on the island (mercifully just one) to check email and maintain my blog, which i may miss. it will be good for me to be disconnected from my usual distractions and escapes, though. i need to reflect on the past year and plan for the future.
i'm bringing a journal and books in the hopes i will be able to write and read. no guarantees with bipolar, though.
as an only child, i can get really overwhelmed when other people are around, and have a hard time establishing boundaries sometimes about "alone time" for me. i'm thrilled to have nothing but the waves and the beach between me and solitude for the next week and a half. such happy memories from hawaii. so happy to be going back, although we are a changed family, this time.
i haven't been in a long time. we stayed at the Mauna Kea Beach Hotel on the big island several years ago, which is pretty, but a little dull. i was depressed, of course, as i was on our trip to Honolulu when I was 16, and my symptoms were just beginning to manifest, and on our trip to Maui when I was at Pomona. i could not understand why i kept my clothes on and did not want to go in the water that trip. i've been part fish my whole life, and i had no desire to get in the water. i had absolutely no idea why that huge part of me had suddenly disappeared.
i'm so tired. drained. looking forward to recovering my sense of humor and what matters to me. i hope this will be a healing experience. i have felt so dragged down for so long. i want meaning, but i won't get into all this now. i'm just taking a break from packing. must go downstairs for my tennis shoes and reading material, as well as some food.
fast food and junk food really do not agree with me. i've had a stomach ache all day. tonight i had eggplant with brown rice, which tasted like heaven. my arteries are doing little happy dances right now.
I feel like my school year has finally ended. tomorrow I leave with my family for Hawaii, a favorite destination of ours ever since my parents honeymooned there in 1965.
i'm dragging my heels with packing. i just can't wait to feel the warm island air on my skin, the smell of hibiscus, hear hawaiian music and spend all day listening to the waves crash on the beach. i can't wait for pristine, warm, ocean water again, in which i can swim and play and ride the waves all day long. that's really all i have planned, with a possible excursion to the sole starbucks on the island (mercifully just one) to check email and maintain my blog, which i may miss. it will be good for me to be disconnected from my usual distractions and escapes, though. i need to reflect on the past year and plan for the future.
i'm bringing a journal and books in the hopes i will be able to write and read. no guarantees with bipolar, though.
as an only child, i can get really overwhelmed when other people are around, and have a hard time establishing boundaries sometimes about "alone time" for me. i'm thrilled to have nothing but the waves and the beach between me and solitude for the next week and a half. such happy memories from hawaii. so happy to be going back, although we are a changed family, this time.
i haven't been in a long time. we stayed at the Mauna Kea Beach Hotel on the big island several years ago, which is pretty, but a little dull. i was depressed, of course, as i was on our trip to Honolulu when I was 16, and my symptoms were just beginning to manifest, and on our trip to Maui when I was at Pomona. i could not understand why i kept my clothes on and did not want to go in the water that trip. i've been part fish my whole life, and i had no desire to get in the water. i had absolutely no idea why that huge part of me had suddenly disappeared.
i'm so tired. drained. looking forward to recovering my sense of humor and what matters to me. i hope this will be a healing experience. i have felt so dragged down for so long. i want meaning, but i won't get into all this now. i'm just taking a break from packing. must go downstairs for my tennis shoes and reading material, as well as some food.
fast food and junk food really do not agree with me. i've had a stomach ache all day. tonight i had eggplant with brown rice, which tasted like heaven. my arteries are doing little happy dances right now.
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