Emotional Osmosis

i tend to take on others' pain too much, and bear it on my shoulders. i need to learn how not to do that. i do this whenever other people get really upset.

what would it mean to let go, to let other people have their pain? fear. fear they might hurt me. fear of not being needed, of being abandoned.

life and love are scary. other people can up and leave whenever they want to, leaving me holding whatever deficits and emptinesses i have that can only be filled temporarily, until they can be filled permanently.

i don't know how to do relationships. there is something about close relationships that throws me off, draws me in, takes me off kilter. how to remain intact while intimate?

every time i check my email and there aren't any new ones, i feel empty and unpopular.

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