I Am Entirely Empty
and do not know where to go to fill up--i need healthy, constant sources that do not cause pain.
i get too caught up in other people's oceans and gravitational fields. i still want to love you but you are so far away; your signal strength is weaker. there is a wall between us, but maybe there should be; maybe that was part of the problem? i need spaces in our togetherness, room for myself.
there's a lot to be learned from each other, but almost equal amounts of pain as well, it seems.
i've lost perspective here. i must regain my foothold on reality. maybe i should go take a bath.
i do not seek to change your present situation, although I have difficulty accepting it. i languish and whither like a flower on a vine without water. i do not have any solutions. i am turned away from every door i knock on and am again left alone with my thoughts on a dark, deserted, wet road, lit only by faint glows from the occasional street lamp.
I was meant to write. How do I pursue that? Finding an internship or job is so daunting I'd almost rather not bother until I actually have the degree. i do not like rejection and do not wish to find something i hate. i've done that already and would rather live on $700 per month.
where does the next light come from? how will i recognize it? i need the sun to rise in the east and provide a soft glow that promises more life yet to come. i need a beacon, a strong, steady beam of light to guide me to where i belong. i am tired of searching in the darkness by myself. i do not wish to compromise myself for love, or to lose bits and pieces of myself for it.
i must try to re-energize my own life; devote more time to tending my own garden. sometimes i feel like a venus fly trap.
i worry that i am full of sweet nothings and nothing else. that i reach for the stars without any feet on the ground.
i get too caught up in other people's oceans and gravitational fields. i still want to love you but you are so far away; your signal strength is weaker. there is a wall between us, but maybe there should be; maybe that was part of the problem? i need spaces in our togetherness, room for myself.
there's a lot to be learned from each other, but almost equal amounts of pain as well, it seems.
i've lost perspective here. i must regain my foothold on reality. maybe i should go take a bath.
i do not seek to change your present situation, although I have difficulty accepting it. i languish and whither like a flower on a vine without water. i do not have any solutions. i am turned away from every door i knock on and am again left alone with my thoughts on a dark, deserted, wet road, lit only by faint glows from the occasional street lamp.
I was meant to write. How do I pursue that? Finding an internship or job is so daunting I'd almost rather not bother until I actually have the degree. i do not like rejection and do not wish to find something i hate. i've done that already and would rather live on $700 per month.
where does the next light come from? how will i recognize it? i need the sun to rise in the east and provide a soft glow that promises more life yet to come. i need a beacon, a strong, steady beam of light to guide me to where i belong. i am tired of searching in the darkness by myself. i do not wish to compromise myself for love, or to lose bits and pieces of myself for it.
i must try to re-energize my own life; devote more time to tending my own garden. sometimes i feel like a venus fly trap.
i worry that i am full of sweet nothings and nothing else. that i reach for the stars without any feet on the ground.
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