Where Is the Love?

I do have an amazing amount of love in my life, and I'm incredibly lucky for it. It's like a fiery beacon, or a warm cloak to protect me from the cold and lift me up to feel worthy and cared about, and many other things. I'm very grateful for it.

There's a "but," here, though--I still feel like I alienate people much more than I'd like to. I almost feel like the people who love me are the ones willing to excavate through the tough and treacherous exterior and put up with my heretofore undealt with "owies."

I wish I felt more lovable. Sometimes I do, but more often I don't. This is a new challenge to tackle. I'm sure that self-acceptance is a piece of it, and tuning out negative thoughts, but it's a long road, I think. I'm so grateful that by next May, I'll be on my own and ready to deal with all this sh*t in the real world as an independent person, FINALLY. My ambition is on fire, and I feel utterly unstoppable. How's that for forward-moving inertia, Newton? (I think that was Newton)

[technically, title is song lyric from "Black Eyed Peas"]

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