I've Come Undone

i remember that feeling of free-falling into an abyss, with nothing to stop me. it usually begins with confusion and suspicion, leading to paranoia while retaining hope. every loss reminds me of previous losses. funny how they all start to look like each other.

i've had dreams about pomona lately. dreams where i could never get where i needed to go, where no one was ever willing to help me, where people sneered at my requests for information or advice.

i've had dreams of feeling unwelcome there, that no one really cared i was there. i dream about the harvey mudd campus and their cafeteria, and wonder why i feel no more at home at my own school than as a visitor at mudd.

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