Life Hurts
it just does. there is no way around it.
i choose life, though, and that means diving in sometimes. so often, i have to make mistakes in order to learn, "collateral damage" not withstanding. and i don't mean that lightly; i hate when other people get hurt because of something i've done.
I always say that there isn't anything that can happen to us that we can't recover from. when it gets really bad, i have to remember that, and know that things have been hard before, they'll be hard again, and that i can do it. i can and will get through "it," whatever "it" is, no matter how much it hurts. the pain cannot kill me.
most importantly, though, i don't want to repeat my mistakes. i want to learn from each one and become a better person so i can have a better life, be a better citizen of the world, and, ultimately, be happier. that's what it's all about--if i'm not happy, something is not working. i think the milk i'm drinking is sour.
i'm afraid to take chances, afraid to leave what works and is comfortable. sometimes i need a little shove, though, a shove off the edge of the cliff. even when i know it, i'm not always willing to jump.
happily, we have plans for the 4th of July--barbeque with friends in Foster City, followed by fireworks.
my back has been hurting a lot, lately, owing to lack of exercise, and i can't wait for pilates to begin next week. i'm going to try ballet, but with the understanding that it almost certainly won't work. i hope they'll let me take just part of a class.
i had some life breathed into me in southern california; two and a half weeks is just a taste of independence, but enough to remind me that there is a world out there, there are still possibilities for me, that things can and will get better. and that's big news, after all these years of confinement.
i'm grateful for healing influences in my life. i have to remember to be one, too.
i choose life, though, and that means diving in sometimes. so often, i have to make mistakes in order to learn, "collateral damage" not withstanding. and i don't mean that lightly; i hate when other people get hurt because of something i've done.
I always say that there isn't anything that can happen to us that we can't recover from. when it gets really bad, i have to remember that, and know that things have been hard before, they'll be hard again, and that i can do it. i can and will get through "it," whatever "it" is, no matter how much it hurts. the pain cannot kill me.
most importantly, though, i don't want to repeat my mistakes. i want to learn from each one and become a better person so i can have a better life, be a better citizen of the world, and, ultimately, be happier. that's what it's all about--if i'm not happy, something is not working. i think the milk i'm drinking is sour.
i'm afraid to take chances, afraid to leave what works and is comfortable. sometimes i need a little shove, though, a shove off the edge of the cliff. even when i know it, i'm not always willing to jump.
happily, we have plans for the 4th of July--barbeque with friends in Foster City, followed by fireworks.
my back has been hurting a lot, lately, owing to lack of exercise, and i can't wait for pilates to begin next week. i'm going to try ballet, but with the understanding that it almost certainly won't work. i hope they'll let me take just part of a class.
i had some life breathed into me in southern california; two and a half weeks is just a taste of independence, but enough to remind me that there is a world out there, there are still possibilities for me, that things can and will get better. and that's big news, after all these years of confinement.
i'm grateful for healing influences in my life. i have to remember to be one, too.
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