A Terrible Handicap

I'm not talking about sitting next to the brownies in Bridget's room, though that is problematic.

I lack the ability to be myself around men I find attractive and I don't know why. It can't just be nervousness; it impedes my getting to know people. It feels deeper than nervousness.

There's a quote from "The Libertine" about searching ourselves and removing our weaknesses. It wasn't said in those terms, but it fascinated me. The libertine's mom was worried about how depraved and debaucherous he was, and insisted that "good Christians" seek out their evils and tear them out. The libertine's response was to tell his mother that she should look deeper within herself to find her flaws; rather than referring to his own. There was a Hamlet-esque moment in which Depp's character pretended to begin to kiss his mother on the lips, but instead said something cruel.

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