Long Time Gone

I'm certain that's not the way to say "Let's celebrate!" in Latin, but I don't really care, because the semester is almost over and the mood around here is positively ecstatic (well, almost, and for some people). Heck, I like language and it likes me, so perhaps all those dead Romans won't mind my perversion of their ancient language. I haven't felt this good in a long time. I'm going to miss Lorian so much. We're spending some final study moments in my room, with Brenna, who has finished all but one assignment! The rest of us still have several things to do. I think I'm coming down with something, my throat's a little funny and I'm kind of tired. Home tomorrow, back Saturday for an unusual 10am class to receive our final exam, at which point the final bout of stress will debut, as I'll have three large-ish and stressful-ish projects to do. Up first is my Letters paper for Monday, and then about a week to complete my Lat...

I am delighted to announce the return of our dorm's Emily Dickinson-at-large, all the way from the wilds of Wyoming, Claire! Even better, it is likely she will occupy a room on our very own hall, shortly to be vacated by Sara, whom I will miss terribly. Who will saturate us with information about alternative menstrual products? Derek Jeter Dating Jessica Biel, Repeatedly Reports Derek Jeter NEW YORK—According to his teammates, other MLB players, Yankee management, friends, relatives, his old college professors, and any random...

Two classes finished, three left! I feel like I can breathe tonight. I felt sad submitting my final paper to ms. mehta today, since i've enjoyed her classes so much. i also feel like my french is improving. it seems i've royally pissed off a few people around here, and i'm worried she's one of them, since i haven't heard back from her.

There is nothing at all like true friends who remind me who I am and make me feel good about myself. Love is the text of our lives!

Your Birthday Today: For the fifth month in a row, you will be forced to deal with your abandonment issues completely alone. Aries: While others frequently refer to you as a sex machine, the label is sadly based on your cold, almost mechanical execution of the physical act. Gemini: Your correspondence course in applied chemistry will be terminated this week after the violent demise of nearly two dozen mailmen. Leo: A head-on collision with a bright red 18-wheeler will all but end this Thursday's game of "I Spy." Virgo: You can cry all you like, but it's not going to bring back the 56-ounce carton of ice cream you just ate. Libra: While alternate-side-of-the-street restrictions may ultimately help, it's probably not the most effective way of dealing with your town's recent wave of curbings. Scorpio: Covered only partially in Vaseline and shrieking nearly coherent obscenities about the Jews, you'll be amazed by the amount of progress you've made since en...

I knew it! Well, not literally, but years ago I said that the Kramer character from Seinfeld disturbed me because there was something creepy about his body language. Sure enough, the actor exploded with a racist tirade not long ago during a stand-up comedy gig. I knew something wasn't right! Can I just say that relationships are hard? They just are, and it's me that's a large part of it, because I have a lot of insecurities. As I've said, though, getting to know people is helping me to see my insecurities WRIT LARGE and hopefully do something about them. Gratitude. I have a tendency to either put others on a pedestal and denigrate myself or the other way around. No wonder I'm uncomfortable with inequality! I don't like that. I also tend to put up a wall between myself and someone else the minute I find them interesting, or if they find me interesting. I'm still not sure; there are lots of murky unknowns here; I had a great talk with the oracle toda...

Let the celebrating begin! Tonight was our final class of "Politics of Developing Nations," and I won't have to do the optional final exam because I'm satisfied with my grade for the course! One entire course out of the way! A weight has been lifted. As of tomorrow, French will be over, too, because I'll submit my final paper! Quite a celebration tomorrow night! Then I just have the Letters paper for Monday, Lawson's paper for December 11, and the Govt 091 final, to be handed out Saturday.

Things are in a strange state of flux around here; many people are graduating this winter and social bonds are already shifting. Some general awkwardness in the air, and lots of impending sadness on my part.

My story starts at sea... a perilous voyage to an unknown land... a shipwreck... the wild waters roar and heave... the brave vessel is dashed all to pieces, and all the helpless souls within her drowned... all save one... a lady... whose soul is greater than the ocean... and her spirit stronger than the sea's embrace... not for her a watery end, but a new life beginning on a stranger shore. It will be a love story... for she will be my heroine for all time. [Shakespeare in Love] what to do with my passion and my heart; how to channel them in healthy ways so they don't get me hurt? these are the questions i've been dying to ask all these years because it means i'm alive, i'm healthy, and i'm having a life. i live among the living today.

from a song by india.arie. yep, that's today's theme, talking with the Rish about life challenges and fears, etc. Learning to be me is a serious business. It involves letting others see me when I'm vulnerable and imperfect. [movie ideas: Office Space, Anchorman, Four Weddings, Strictly Ballroom] Area Man Never Leaves House Without Putting On Lucky Everything BOISE, ID—Area resident Tom Watson, 32, told coworkers yesterday that he never leaves his house without putting on his lucky hat, jacket,...

Bush Urges Nation To Be Quiet For A Minute While He Tries To Think WASHINGTON, DC­—While acknowledging every American's inalienable right to free speech, the president asked citizens to "hold off on it for, say, 60 seconds."

Honesty gets me closer to myself, which is frightening. Once you cross a line, there's no going back. The quote is from Shakespeare's "Romeo and Juliet." I am frightened to do a relationship honestly. It's scary because I have no control over what they think. I simply reveal who I am and take my chances. That's the best and most satisfying way, though. It's like learning to walk for the first time. I am so accustomed to trying to make myself appear a certain way, and I'm so glad I don't have to "orchestrate" anymore. What makes someone lovable? What is real love and what does it look and feel like? How does one give and receive it? And I'm always paranoid that I talk too much about myself and it's a terrible habit that drives others away and I'm trying like mad to break. The irony is that the real me is so much more than the fake me I'm always trying to project. I think that being honest and being myself will ...

One of the great things about getting to know someone I find intimidating is that it brings out all of my securities so I can examine and begin to treat each one. I don't want anything getting in the way of me becoming the best and most fully realized version of myself I possibly can!

I am who I am who I am, ya know?

I liked "United 93." It was a good portrayal of what happened that day and was really sad.

the recent poisoning and death of former KGB spy.

two words: Daniel Craig (best body, too, if you ask me or any of my girl friends who've seen it! YOWZA!) and the piercing blue eyes, the don't-mess-with-me stare, the broken heart and the unfeeling exterior that belies the man within (emphasis on MAN). i would definitely see that film again.

The sand is moving at 60mph. Photos taken 26 April 2005 in Al Asad, Iraq, by a member of the US military.

Larry King has a "CNN Presents" on one of the firehouses devastated by 9/11. My 9/11 began when my mom woke me up to say that planes had hit (or "bombed," i can't remember) the World Trade Center and the Pentagon. It sounded impossible to me. I never wake up quickly or jump out of bed, but my mind instantly shifted into gear and I sat up, threw off the covers, and dashed into the family room. I pretty much stayed in front of the TV all day because new information was constantly coming in and there really wasn't any more compelling thing I needed to be doing. I didn't know what the NYC skyline looked like, so I didn't know if there were supposed to be one or two towers. I didn't see the planes hit, I saw the burning buildings. Shortly after I sat down, I saw one of the towers collapse. I didn't really know what was happening, but I remember exclaiming to my dad, who was in the kitchen, that the tower was collapsing. That didn't lo...

I hate when people who know nothing about my background or what has happened in my life judge me based on the surface. I really hate it. I LOVE Bon Jovi, however. They're like the big-hair version of Bruce Springsteen, who is also from New Jersey. Behold the jaw-dropping difficult-ness of our final essay question for Lawson: Three countries in the contemporary Middle East--the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia, the Islamic Republic of Iran, and the State of Israel--have political systems that are firmly rooted in religion. In all three, regime legitimacy rests largely on religious principles, and religious notables play a key role in policy-making. To what extent do opposition movements in these three countries differ from the challengers that one finds in the etatist-populist republics we have examined in this course? Can important aspects of the emergence and evolution of these movements be explained in the same (political-economic) terms that have been advanced to explain oppositions ...

the holiday season has begun for the Galbraiths. we had our traditional abundance of food today, complete with many dishes we've been cooking for years. there's a lot to be said for tradition. it's sad, though; we aren't totally happy in our house, which we choose for its affordability, while our friends have all become increasingly prosperous over the years. my mom is overworked, and our beautiful china set and dining room table are reminders of when we could afford nice things. overall, though, i love the holidays and may well join the hordes of mad shoppers tomorrow. i have always loved the holiday season, and have many many happy memories. Gratitude: My hair is still falling out in handfulls, getting all over my room, car, shower, clothing, and bed, but as I look in the mirror, it's still beautiful. I'm very lucky. When I'm 65, I'll look back at this time, wishing my hair wasn't gray. I want to appreciate what I have now. I've maint...

Holidays can be tough. My dad's Alzheimer's is progressing a little faster than I thought it would, and my parents argue a lot. Tough times. I'm just looking forward to getting a job so I can support myself and have a fun life. A Happy Thanksgiving to you all!

the countdown to being young begins: one French paper Lawson paper Letters paper govt 091 final govt 141 final ethiopia presentation

After a substantial drought, I caught an episode of "The Report" this evening, and what a relief! My boy is cute, sweet, sarcastic, bright, and well-educated. Wish I could add some videos here, too bad YouTube lost its sense of humor and removed them from its site.

Birthday Today: The discovery of two scoliotic spines this week will bring you one step closer to completing that rocking chair of skulls. Aries: Next week's appointment with an ear, nose, and throat specialist will start with some positive news about your ears and your nose. Taurus: While the transformation and its implications may be difficult to accept, there's no longer any sense in denying it: You are now more beatbox than human. Gemini: Remember: You can only run away from your problems for so long before they catch up to you, tackle you, drag you into a nearby alley, and ultimately slit your throat. Virgo: They say that a baby changes everything, and while you'll feel a little more pressure, in the end the game is still five-card stud. Libra: Despite seemingly insurmountable odds, you will once again manage to talk your way out of sounding interesting this week. Capricorn: Riding in a golf cart with snow cone in hand, you'll be tackled by two police office...

I'm very curious to see who the Democratic front-runners for the presidential nomination will be. It sounds like there will be a glut of qualified candidates almost frothing at the mouth to take over from Bush's disastrous regime. Hilary Clinton, Barack Obama, and John Edwards clearly lead the charge, I know that John Kerry is considering a run but I don't think he'll get the time of day from anyone. McCain appears to be lining up his chips on the Republican side.

Terrell Owens Blames Poor Game On Drew Bledsoe, Offensive Line, Hamid Karzai, NASA, Samsung

oh my god, i don't know what to do with myself. there has been a temporary lull in the workload madness. "i wanna grow something wild and unruly." --Dixie Chicks I am in a Dixie Chicks and Indigo Girls kind of mood. the love the love the love. the rest is details. accepting myself allows me to accept that others like me and i can let them in. it means so much.

malheureusement. why is it so hard for me to acknowledge my goodness? insecurities in excelsis these days, i tell you.

From "The Economist," June 11, 2005: Even by the standards of war, some of the atrocities in eastern Congo are shocking. Zainabo Alfani, for example, was stopped by men in uniform on a road in Ituri last year. She and 13 other women were ordered to strip, to see if they had long vaginal lips, which the gunmen believed would have magical properties. The 13 others did not, and were killed on the spot. Zainabo did. The gunmen cut them off and then gang-raped her. Then they cooked and ate her two daughters in front of her. They also ate chunks of Zainabo's flesh. She escaped, but had contracted HIV. She told her story to the UN [United Nations] in February, and died in March.

Stephen Colbert strikes up a particularly obstreperous and thorny relationship with the feisty Congresswoman from the District of Columbia: Stephen battles it out with the Congresswoman:

How is it that I know I'm likable on the one hand and feel so terribly insecure and unworthy on the other? Today's not-so-guilty pleasure: Bon Jovi Chasing Tornadoes Is All I Have I chase tornadoes. That's what I do. I've tried to have a normal life—wife, kids—but it wasn't for me. Huddling in a...

"If you attempt to please everyone, you will please no one." "Being accepted by others requires accepting yourself." You have to let the love in.

Can I just say how scary it is, getting to know someone new? The fear that everything I'm doing is wrong, that it's only a matter of time before I'll be rejected? Especially getting to know someone whose opinion actually matters to me, and knowing that I don't have a terrific record with relationships. Fear of doing the wrong thing, not knowing how to behave, what's appropriate, what's not appropriate, etc. Too much teasing, etc.--when is enough enough?

It's all about "International Relations Co-eds Gone Wild"! Let the transcontinental debauchery begin! Dress-up day was a resounding success, and we're planning for an all-out assault next week. We are the IR mafia. We're also going to do some serious hanging out as IR majors, attend depressing lectures, eat international food from countries that can't afford it themselves, etc. Lawson's swirly paisley tie mesmerized me during class today. Good times. French paper done, on to Ethiopia! Presentation in class; yuck.

I look at the Victoria's Secret catalog for the clothing. No kidding. Hidden way in the back, they actually offer some pretty cute things. Not the best quality, but somewhat fashionable and affordable.

i hate conflict with other people. when someone else gets upset, i automatically assume it's my fault, even though lots of times it probably isn't. conflict is inevitable, though; other people getting upset is also to be expected; i must figure out a way not to freak out so much each time it happens. New Nietzschean Diet Lets You Eat Whatever You Fear Most NEW YORK-By conquering your Fear and eating it in Heroic Portions, one can avoid the Eternal Occurrence of weight gain.

there is a stupid alarm going off and i'm told it will go off all night because the maintenance person can't arrive till tomorrow. talk about unacceptable! wow. we should go wake up president jan at her house and tell her it's her college and she needs to deal with a hundred angry ethel moore residents whose $40,000 somehow can't cover the cost of getting a maintenance person out here NOW so those of us who aren't already insane will not be so by tomorrow. grouchy grouchy. it was a terrible evening--we went to two theaters and they were both sold out, lots of unnecessary driving and parking and frustration. i hate snafus like that. now we're all in wretched moods, contending with this alarm, and back in our dorm rooms. Parents Of Nasal Learners Demand Odor-Based Curriculum COLUMBUS, OH-Backed by olfactory-education experts, parents of nasal learners are demanding that U.S. public schools provide odor-based curricula for their academically struggling childr...

Getting into a petty argument with the silly RA over a silly rule I have yet to see in print. It isn't about the "free pile," obviously, it's about power and control. I could easily back down, but that's not the point. I think a request is being made of me that is unreasonable. I've asked to see a copy of the policy in question in print. Honestly, in the bigger picture, how big a deal is an item of clothing? The system works well, people thank me for it, I've not heard a single complaint, so I'm not inclined to comply with a request that may or may not even be part of the housing contract. This reminds of me arguments I've always had with my mom, which is probably why I find myself in this situation. Silly power plays over issues that don't really matter in the bigger picture.

can i just say how happy i am right now, and excited about the rest of my life? i will be free as a bird in a few months, no, freer, because no bird has been cooped up as long as i have. some scientists claim that birds are in fact dinosaurs, while others claim that birds are descendants of dinosaurs. it's all in the classification guidelines, i suppose. good thing we don't use feathers for energy to run our cars and air conditioners! i think it's an abyss into which we're both peering that each of us is afraid to jump into. i, for my part, wish to make it as safe as possible. fabuloso. new life, new friends. we can be like alice, jumping down the rabbit hole; where we'll land, nobody knows! but it will be a new land.

"Life isn't a gift, it's a loan." "Why do Italian women grow mustaches? To look like their mothers." "Women like movies where one person dies slowly, men like movies where many people die quickly."

I heaved a huge sigh of relief to hear Nancy Pelosi's positive statement about the new Democratic Congress. So much has been broken under the Bush regime, and I agree that much healing is in order. What kind of magic mushrooms are they feeding General Abizaid to make him say Iraq can still be stabilized?

Today's Horoscope: While everyone is certainly entitled to their opinion of how you run your life, the bullhorn they've been using does seem a bit much. Taurus: Tens of thousands will applaud your invention next week of a larger and more convincing applause sign. Cancer: The stars are serious this time: If they ever catch you with those f*cking tea leaves again, you can kiss the last 15 years goodbye. Leo: Your towering throne of skulls might be impressive and all, but what's the point of being king if there's no one left to rule over? Virgo: Years of sweat and toil will finally pay off when your first novel is welcomed as a challenging and important work by cryptographers around the world. Libra: An attempt to describe the concept of infinity to friends this Thursday will succeed in spite of your nonsensical rambling. Scorpio: If you had any balls at all, you'd quit that pathetic sobbing and just take the castration like a real man. Sagittarius: While you c...

From "The Onion":

The Catholic Church has pulled one of its favorite, age-old moves out of its sleeve, and reminded us how good it is at molding religion to fit the political environment of the times. It has come out with a very dubious ruling on gay Catholics: it's OK to have gay feelings, but it's not OK to act on them; in fact, don't even mention to your parish if you're gay! I think the Church is clearly trying to dance around its homophobic policies to try to accomodate more members without shifting its fundamental "values." A transparently political action, if you ask me.

"No wonder I have a headache." "I want the blue collar! "I always wanted to play goalie...*Sigh.* I wonder if they have World Cup Soccer for cats?"

To show off his feathers, of course!

No, it's a mouse!

Department of Canine (Un)Security!

That quote isn't from "Rocky," (it's from "On the Waterfront"), but "Is this place open to everybody or just the general public?" is. I'm holed up in the rec room with my b*tches, Lorian and Brenna, watching the dreadful "Rocky" marathon on the even worse, testosterone-fueled "Spike" network. I'm just here for the company and companionship. Here are some Borat quotes: Borat: "What kind of dog is this? Zookeeper: "It's a tortoise." Borat: "Is it a cat in a hat?" Zookeeper: "No, it's a tortoise in a shell." Borat: "What's up, vanilla face?" Borat (referring to Azamat in costume): "I did not come to California to fight with a man dressed as Hitler." Azamat: "We should go back to New York. At least there are no Jews there." Borat (to American rodeo audience): "We support your war of terror." Borat (to woman with garage sale): ...

I lost 15 pounds over the summer, and have maintained that loss up till now. Pretty amazing what eating healthy food can do. Lately I've been increasing the cr*ppy food, though, probably b/of stress and the collective effect of having tons of it around all the time. I'm still about 140 pounds, though. I'm asking the big questions these days. No one has written a primer on interrupted development due to bipolar and what the heck someone is supposed to do to address that once relatively healthy on meds. That's my "journey" right now, so to speak; and as usual, I'm blazing my own trail. I dread having to address the illness when getting to know someone new because my life makes no sense without it. I'm resentful that I'm practically forced to mention it when talking about more than just surface issues with people. I'm ashamed of what I perceive to be my arrested development and people often blame me for it rather than understanding the eff...

Stephen skewers Robert Greenwald on the topic of Tom Delay. Stephen skewers Tom Delay in person. Delay skewers himself as filtered through Stephen's interpretation on "The Word."

The hostility between skiers and snowboarders, who vie for the same turf, literally, reminds me of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. Two competing interests both feel equally entitled to the same piece of land. The conflict is ideological in nature: one side thinks it is better than the other, and that's about it. There is no solution in sight! I feel bored and restless. The semester's almost over, which is good, and I'm looking into getting a job. Starbucks has actually crossed my mind, and there's an interesting position on campus I may apply for, but that brings up the disability issue. Once I'm off SSDI, I'm off and responsible for taking care of myself, which is frightening. I'm not sure if I want to get off of disability before I graduate or not. On the other side, I LOVE the idea of having spending power and control over paying down my debt which has been a headache for years. I can't wait for the holiday season. I'd like to get a j...

"The pen is mightier than the sword, if you shoot that pen out of a gun. This is the Colbert Report!" [Stephen points to a square with the "Head-On" commercial ad in it] "Apply directly to the forehead. Apply directly to the forehead. Apply directly to the forehead...This is the Colbert Report!" "Here's the Truth you ordered! Watch out, the plate is very hot. This is the Colbert Report!" "The culture war is like a bar fight and I'm your broken pool cue. This is the Colbert Report!" "You don't have to be crazy to work here, but it helps me fire you! This is the Colbert Report!" --Stephen Colbert

I can't stand people who think their jobs are so important that they'll reign with an iron fist over the most trivial of matters and not budge an inch, even when people agree they're being totally unreasonable. "The safest way to avoid throwing the baby out with the bathwater is to not change the bathwater." On capital punishment: "I'm disappointed that my own Catholic Church has decided that capital punishment is wrong. Which is pretty hypocritical if you think about it, because they wouldn't even have a religion if it wasn't for capital punishment." "By the way: The 'E' in E-Mail...stands for 'E-Mail'." "On this show, your voice will be heard...in the form of my voice." "If you connect these three districts, it makes a triangle!" --Stephen Colbert

A sound byte from Borat's press conference held in Washington DC to denounce the "disgusting fabrications" of the government of Kazakhstan that express equality for women and all religions. Rumsfeld: 'My Half-Assed Job Here Is Done' WASHINGTON, DC—After nearly six years of much-publicized service as Secretary of Defense, Donald Rumsfeld announced his resignation...

After stopping at Starbucks today, receiving a cappuccino in a red-colored, Christmas-themed cup, and traipsing through Stanford Shopping Center, where Christmas music and decorations were in abundance, I've decided that the world of retail decides when holidays occur, not the calendar. Forty-six shopping days left until Jesus is born! Politicians Sweep Midterm Elections WASHINGTON, DC—Landslide victories for politicians in all 50 states indicate that voters still tend to elect politicians over non-politicians.

A term I came up with yesterday to describe folks to whom the facts are available, but who choose to ignore them in favor of unfounded ideologies (i.e. when people ignore the existence of multimillion year old fossils in favor of creationism). This is not the same as faith. AND, I've been referring to Don Rumsfeld as this generation's Robert McNamara for a long time, but I heard it in the media only today. I called it! I want the credit!

"Monstrous Black Hole Blast" [RedOrbit.com] This is galaxy cluster MS0735.6+7421, located about 2.6 billion light-years away. The image is actually three views of the region combined into one photo. Taken by the Hubble Space Telescope, it shows dozens of galaxies bound together by gravity. Nearly 50 million degree gas permeates the space between the galaxies. The gas emits X-rays, seen as blue in the image. The X-ray portion of the image shows enormous holes or cavities in the gas, each roughly 640,000 light-years in diameter -- nearly seven times the diameter of the Milky Way. The cavities are filled with charged particles gyrating around magnetic field lines and emitting radio waves shown in the red portion of image (taken with the Very Large Array telescope in New Mexico). The cavities were created by jets of charged particles, ejected at nearly light speed from a supermassive black hole weighing nearly a billion times the mass of our Sun, in the nucleus of the bright cent...

I cannot express in words how upset/angry/frustrated I am about continuing to lose my hair in handfulls that leaves a layer on my floor, car, in the laundry machine; I even find it in the dishwasher! It's awful and I'm sick of it. G*ddamn stupid medication side effects! Grrrrrrrr... I got a haircut today, manicure/pedicure, eyebrows shaped, and bought a beautiful silver bracelet half price at Banana Republic. I also saw Dr. W and had my last physical therapy appointment. I can't decide if I should drive back to school tonight, tomorrow morning before class, or whether I should bother going to class at all. I probably should. Rumsfeld: 'My Half-Assed Job Here Is Done' WASHINGTON, DC—After nearly six years of much-publicized service as Secretary of Defense, Donald Rumsfeld announced his resignation...