Kreepy Kramer: I Kalled It!
I knew it! Well, not literally, but years ago I said that the Kramer character from Seinfeld disturbed me because there was something creepy about his body language.
Sure enough, the actor exploded with a racist tirade not long ago during a stand-up comedy gig. I knew something wasn't right!
Can I just say that relationships are hard? They just are, and it's me that's a large part of it, because I have a lot of insecurities. As I've said, though, getting to know people is helping me to see my insecurities WRIT LARGE and hopefully do something about them. Gratitude. I have a tendency to either put others on a pedestal and denigrate myself or the other way around. No wonder I'm uncomfortable with inequality! I don't like that.
I also tend to put up a wall between myself and someone else the minute I find them interesting, or if they find me interesting. I'm still not sure; there are lots of murky unknowns here; I had a great talk with the oracle today. Fills me with hope and confidence. It is absolutely terrifying for me to allow others to see me imperfectly; even to deliberately let them see my thorns and horns and whatever else there is! It's all about honesty, though. When I don't orchestrate, the person they like is ME. That's what I want; simply to be liked and loved for who I am. So I'm trying to gradually let my walls down, but it's hard. Staying true to myself is hard, but it's what I want. I have both a strong and a weak sense of self, and I'd like to find a happy medium somewhere. AND I want to stop trading on my looks, right away. I want a strong sense of self-esteem that doesn't depend as much on my appearence.
It's 2:39am here at Ethel Moore, and it's quite busy. Doors opening and closing, voices in the hallway. It's about that point of the semester when time becomes even more relative and fluid as people stay up all night and sleep at odd hours to finish all kinds of assignments that are due at irregular times since finals are approaching and classes are winding down. I'm tired, got through much of my French paper but I'm just so out of concentration and ideas and focus that it's tough. I'm going to go to bed and finish the rest of it tomorrow, when I'll have to, since time will be urgent. I just hope I won't sleep through the 11am class, since she's huge on attendance and I've definitely missed a few classes lately. Is anyone even going to the 10am class? I wouldn't mind seeing the documentary, but 10am tomorrow isn't the best time.
Sweet dreams, Diana!
Sure enough, the actor exploded with a racist tirade not long ago during a stand-up comedy gig. I knew something wasn't right!
Can I just say that relationships are hard? They just are, and it's me that's a large part of it, because I have a lot of insecurities. As I've said, though, getting to know people is helping me to see my insecurities WRIT LARGE and hopefully do something about them. Gratitude. I have a tendency to either put others on a pedestal and denigrate myself or the other way around. No wonder I'm uncomfortable with inequality! I don't like that.
I also tend to put up a wall between myself and someone else the minute I find them interesting, or if they find me interesting. I'm still not sure; there are lots of murky unknowns here; I had a great talk with the oracle today. Fills me with hope and confidence. It is absolutely terrifying for me to allow others to see me imperfectly; even to deliberately let them see my thorns and horns and whatever else there is! It's all about honesty, though. When I don't orchestrate, the person they like is ME. That's what I want; simply to be liked and loved for who I am. So I'm trying to gradually let my walls down, but it's hard. Staying true to myself is hard, but it's what I want. I have both a strong and a weak sense of self, and I'd like to find a happy medium somewhere. AND I want to stop trading on my looks, right away. I want a strong sense of self-esteem that doesn't depend as much on my appearence.
It's 2:39am here at Ethel Moore, and it's quite busy. Doors opening and closing, voices in the hallway. It's about that point of the semester when time becomes even more relative and fluid as people stay up all night and sleep at odd hours to finish all kinds of assignments that are due at irregular times since finals are approaching and classes are winding down. I'm tired, got through much of my French paper but I'm just so out of concentration and ideas and focus that it's tough. I'm going to go to bed and finish the rest of it tomorrow, when I'll have to, since time will be urgent. I just hope I won't sleep through the 11am class, since she's huge on attendance and I've definitely missed a few classes lately. Is anyone even going to the 10am class? I wouldn't mind seeing the documentary, but 10am tomorrow isn't the best time.
Sweet dreams, Diana!
Comments