"Trespass Sweetly Urged"
Honesty gets me closer to myself, which is frightening. Once you cross a line, there's no going back. The quote is from Shakespeare's "Romeo and Juliet." I am frightened to do a relationship honestly. It's scary because I have no control over what they think. I simply reveal who I am and take my chances. That's the best and most satisfying way, though. It's like learning to walk for the first time. I am so accustomed to trying to make myself appear a certain way, and I'm so glad I don't have to "orchestrate" anymore.
What makes someone lovable? What is real love and what does it look and feel like? How does one give and receive it?
And I'm always paranoid that I talk too much about myself and it's a terrible habit that drives others away and I'm trying like mad to break.
The irony is that the real me is so much more than the fake me I'm always trying to project. I think that being honest and being myself will get me to the best place. It's such a relief not to feel like I need to manipulate everything. Important lessons. I'm not even that worried about an unfinished assignment I have for tomorrow, or when to take my meds, which I usually obsess over. I feel a degree of freedom recently that I haven't had all these years. One more level of recovery!
Real love is not something that is earned, but freely given to us. It's not contingent on whether I do or don't do something, but at the same time you have to behave appropriately; you can't do just anything (commit murder) and be loved. Or maybe you can?
What makes someone lovable? What is real love and what does it look and feel like? How does one give and receive it?
And I'm always paranoid that I talk too much about myself and it's a terrible habit that drives others away and I'm trying like mad to break.
The irony is that the real me is so much more than the fake me I'm always trying to project. I think that being honest and being myself will get me to the best place. It's such a relief not to feel like I need to manipulate everything. Important lessons. I'm not even that worried about an unfinished assignment I have for tomorrow, or when to take my meds, which I usually obsess over. I feel a degree of freedom recently that I haven't had all these years. One more level of recovery!
Real love is not something that is earned, but freely given to us. It's not contingent on whether I do or don't do something, but at the same time you have to behave appropriately; you can't do just anything (commit murder) and be loved. Or maybe you can?
Comments