Why Does Life Have to Be So Short?
Bridget is back for her first visit since taking leave. It's a huge reunion. I miss our family from last year so much. We're all divided and spread out and absent this year. It's so sad. Life is so fleeting. Just one year of preciousness--well, I know I'll look back on both of my Mills years with fondness; but just one year of our Ethel Moore family, and that's it; it's over. I've learned a whole lot about letting go over the past several years that helps me to let go of this, too.
Ms. Mehta is so nice and so sweet. She told me today how sad she is that we won't have any more classes together, and I feel the same way. There's a theme in my life of good experiences and relationships ending too soon. My whole life seems to have been abbreviated, and I don't know why.
I want to have integrity that isn't arrogance, and I'm trying to figure out what that means. Separating myself from people I don't respect is part of it, but how do I know whom I don't respect? Maybe I just don't like them as the result of my own weakness or something. I want to have standards that are not an excuse to look down on someone else. Is it ever OK to look down on someone else? If so, under what circumstances?
I want to be happy and I think that having integrity is a prerequisite for that. I also think that I want someone to bond with, that's a piece of the equation, too. Ms. Mehta made me smile from ear to ear today. It's so wonderful to have people like that in your life--who warm your heart. She had very nice things to say about my paper. It feels great to feel appreciated and liked.
That's what life is all about, for me; human interaction. Not institutions, math, science, etc., but being human, together with others. That's the language I speak. Borat this weekend! Yikes! My Stephen is much classier (and I don't apologize for good taste) but I'm sure I'd get quite a laugh out of Borat, too, judging by what little I've seen of his humor.
At dinner the other night we were talking about different kinds of humor on SNL, and I expressed my dislike of bodily function jokes. Someone else teased me about thinking that I'm "too good" for those kinds of jokes, or something, but I make no apology for good taste. I won't budge on the issue, whether others think I'm elitist or not. Something I share with my dad is contempt for a certain level of vulgarity and crassness. Even Dr. W crosses that line, sometimes, in my opinion, but that's OK; he's entitled to find funny whatever he finds funny.
Ms. Mehta is so nice and so sweet. She told me today how sad she is that we won't have any more classes together, and I feel the same way. There's a theme in my life of good experiences and relationships ending too soon. My whole life seems to have been abbreviated, and I don't know why.
I want to have integrity that isn't arrogance, and I'm trying to figure out what that means. Separating myself from people I don't respect is part of it, but how do I know whom I don't respect? Maybe I just don't like them as the result of my own weakness or something. I want to have standards that are not an excuse to look down on someone else. Is it ever OK to look down on someone else? If so, under what circumstances?
I want to be happy and I think that having integrity is a prerequisite for that. I also think that I want someone to bond with, that's a piece of the equation, too. Ms. Mehta made me smile from ear to ear today. It's so wonderful to have people like that in your life--who warm your heart. She had very nice things to say about my paper. It feels great to feel appreciated and liked.
That's what life is all about, for me; human interaction. Not institutions, math, science, etc., but being human, together with others. That's the language I speak. Borat this weekend! Yikes! My Stephen is much classier (and I don't apologize for good taste) but I'm sure I'd get quite a laugh out of Borat, too, judging by what little I've seen of his humor.
At dinner the other night we were talking about different kinds of humor on SNL, and I expressed my dislike of bodily function jokes. Someone else teased me about thinking that I'm "too good" for those kinds of jokes, or something, but I make no apology for good taste. I won't budge on the issue, whether others think I'm elitist or not. Something I share with my dad is contempt for a certain level of vulgarity and crassness. Even Dr. W crosses that line, sometimes, in my opinion, but that's OK; he's entitled to find funny whatever he finds funny.
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