Le Retour de Claire!

I am delighted to announce the return of our dorm's Emily Dickinson-at-large, all the way from the wilds of Wyoming, Claire! Even better, it is likely she will occupy a room on our very own hall, shortly to be vacated by Sara, whom I will miss terribly. Who will saturate us with information about alternative menstrual products?

The Onion

Derek Jeter Dating Jessica Biel, Repeatedly Reports Derek Jeter

NEW YORK—According to his teammates, other MLB players, Yankee management, friends, relatives, his old college professors, and any random...

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