The Clear Light of Day

my mom helped me put a piece of the puzzle into place today. it's all about clarity; and the more clearly i see it for what it really is, the more able i am to let go of it.

we had talked about abuse and repeating behavior patterns, etc., and agreed that we were both committed to doing things differently. the abuse began to sneak in, though, and i can see that sh*t coming a mile away and knew exactly what it was when it hit. and, i didn't believe it. in retrospect, that's what it was. a kink in her operating system she wasn't dealing with. automatic danger. it's one thing if folks are prepared to deal with all of their stuff, but if they're in denial about anything, it's just going to get larger and larger until something is done.

it was always going to go in just one direction. the signs were there. there really is such a thing as "too good to be true." if that's "too good to be true," then what's the real deal? where is the real goodness? what does it look and feel like? i guess i shouldn't have to ask; i'll just know. that's what i hope, anyway.

Comments

QUASAR9 said…
"i guess i shouldn't have to ask; i'll just know. that's what i hope, anyway."

YEP!!!
Diana if it's real goodness
you'll just know
5:20 AM
Diana said…
you're in england, right? tell me something about yourself.
12:47 PM
Diana said…
you at Cambridge? a scientist by trade, i presume? i always end up attracting older intellectual men. maybe because my dad's my best friend.
3:00 PM
QUASAR9 said…
Hi Diana, yes I live in Cambridge, England. A thinker by trade.
Working over time, on creating a coceptual view of the physical universe - an educational tool with 200 pages.
3:34 PM
QUASAR9 said…
Just hope all the links and URLs, and reference links, hold 'true' when I transfer the 200 pages over to website format.

And you, which direction are you headed. Did you tell me what you did whilst at Harverd?
3:40 PM
Diana said…
say hello to mr. hawking for me. doesn't he occupy the post mr. newton once did? american comedian does a dreadful, if humorous, sketch about mr. hawking. at harvard i learned that with the right attitude, anything is possible. they didn't say anything about intelligence. or is it just difficult to admit that i am smarter than some people?
3:51 PM
Diana said…
a thinker by trade. love it. understated and the truth. i'll look up coceptual in the dictionary.
4:29 PM
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