Get Out of Jail Free Card
Here I am at Gaylord's; fingers freezing. pretty dead atmosphere, though fairly full w/folks. many studying, i-poding, some emt's. is an apostrophe appropriate there or not?
love sublime, love divine. it's out there somewhere, w/my name on it. i can choose to believe that or not, i don't know if that would change anything. no more risk to believing in it than not. yes there is.
must strike a balance between writing what i want vs. writing what i think others want to read. am uncomfortable around the considerable homeless population here; one guy just got firmly thrown out by a server. this place has a pretty high-pressure feel; not totally comfortable. berkeley-ish competitiveness?
watched pride and prejudice w/halie late into the night; enjoyed sleeping in and missing brunch for once.
too bad hot french guy wasn't at dinner; my clothes were actually coordinated and i got two compliments on my sweater.
nice older guy just came over, gave me his blog site. can never tell people's intentions. sometimes. i'm glad i came; it's good to be out and about. i want to make my blog more public but am scared cause i'm totally open about the bipolar stuff. always a balancing act; never know how much is too much, etc.
i've made the font pretty small so folks can't look over my shoulder as i'm writing. who knows if it's making any difference.
two very hot guys at twelve o'clock; very close proximity. am trying not to get flustered, which is probably a contradiction in terms. it's a shame not to give out my blog info to people who ask, but i need to figure out how to handle this bipolar thing, which, as usual, should not be my problem since it isn't my fault there's such a stigma and i've done nothing to deserve it. hot guy #1 is reading The New Yorker, which is a good sign.
any suggestions re the bipolar thing? i'm thinking of going to fenton's even though i don't want any ice cream. what does that mean?
the freedom to be myself around others is my goal; feeling "on show" all the time relieves me of my need to check in with myself but i always end up on the outs that way; it's such a knee-jerk reaction. why do i get the feeling these two are going to leave without saying anything to me?
i used to be sooo confident; what happened? i'm afraid of other people now. hot guys are standing up; have shoulder bags, appear to be students. oh well.
love sublime, love divine. it's out there somewhere, w/my name on it. i can choose to believe that or not, i don't know if that would change anything. no more risk to believing in it than not. yes there is.
must strike a balance between writing what i want vs. writing what i think others want to read. am uncomfortable around the considerable homeless population here; one guy just got firmly thrown out by a server. this place has a pretty high-pressure feel; not totally comfortable. berkeley-ish competitiveness?
watched pride and prejudice w/halie late into the night; enjoyed sleeping in and missing brunch for once.
too bad hot french guy wasn't at dinner; my clothes were actually coordinated and i got two compliments on my sweater.
nice older guy just came over, gave me his blog site. can never tell people's intentions. sometimes. i'm glad i came; it's good to be out and about. i want to make my blog more public but am scared cause i'm totally open about the bipolar stuff. always a balancing act; never know how much is too much, etc.
i've made the font pretty small so folks can't look over my shoulder as i'm writing. who knows if it's making any difference.
two very hot guys at twelve o'clock; very close proximity. am trying not to get flustered, which is probably a contradiction in terms. it's a shame not to give out my blog info to people who ask, but i need to figure out how to handle this bipolar thing, which, as usual, should not be my problem since it isn't my fault there's such a stigma and i've done nothing to deserve it. hot guy #1 is reading The New Yorker, which is a good sign.
any suggestions re the bipolar thing? i'm thinking of going to fenton's even though i don't want any ice cream. what does that mean?
the freedom to be myself around others is my goal; feeling "on show" all the time relieves me of my need to check in with myself but i always end up on the outs that way; it's such a knee-jerk reaction. why do i get the feeling these two are going to leave without saying anything to me?
i used to be sooo confident; what happened? i'm afraid of other people now. hot guys are standing up; have shoulder bags, appear to be students. oh well.
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