love is not love...

a friend is someone who sees you as an equal, and treats you as such. badmouthing someone behind their back does not qualify as friendship; particularly not judgment made out of ignorance.

i must hold myself to the same standards to which i strive to hold others. i've had a pretty "uneven" life till now; judging myself and others too harshly while permitting behavior i'm no longer willing to condone. a poisonous mix of insecurity, low self-esteem, anger, self-pity, and arrogance.

i am furious that someone took my white cotton blanket out of the laundry room. it's pathetic and immature, and i don't know how i'll get it back.

today's lesson is learning how not to allow others to define me. having my own approval matters more than having others' without having my own. i'll never find the kind of people i want to find without first accepting myself.

i am not comfortable feeling "categorized." i do not wish to feel controlled by other people's impressions of me. it may not seem so at the surface, but at my core i do not waver and i know exactly who i am. much gets lots in translation.

i'm watching the grammys tonight, and it'll be nice to have halie watch them too. the whole thing is rather overblown and self-congratulatory, but i don't care. i'm not so elitist that i can't watch american idol or the grammys and enjoy myself (i'm not implying that anyone else is).

i wish to focus on liking myself, rather than looking to everyone and everything else for it.

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