today wasn't such a bad day
it wasn't. i woke up early without any "hangover" sensation. haven't felt sleep-deprived all day, which is a minor miracle. i'm SO resentful at having to do my homework tomorrow; cooped up in this institution that is totally removed from meaning; as if I haven't been locked away for enough years as it is. insult to injury; the stupidity of the system. i am still kept away from what i want and what brings meaning to my life. i don't want an internship; i want a real job.
enough already with this "student" nonsense. i left school years ago and never returned.
i'm having a hard time getting work done and wonder if "blogging" here may help. my french presentation went much better than I expected (HYPERBOLE). i actually enjoy being in front of a group of people. i'm writing my first french paper in forever (HYPERBOLE), though, and I really want to improve my french because i know that my english writing has improved a lot over the past few years.
I have a theory as to why Sharon Stone is making "Basic Instinct II" after having starred in virtually no successful flicks since the first one. I think she couldn't get any other roles in films she wanted, so she convinced studio execs to put her in a sequel, which they assumed would be something of a hit, so it was a safe gamble. She was in Casino, I think, but she really hasn't done much else. If I'm mistaken, post a comment!
Amy Poehler does a brilliant caricature of Stone on "SNL", and that new female castmember did a devastating Judy Garland impersonation a few weeks back.
Other than that, SNL this season is a disappointment. I don't care for the chemistry of the new cast, even if Andy Samberg is cute. I don't know how I feel about these "digital shorts", but I did like the one with the guy who talked constantly last time. i wished i lived in nyc and met cool people.
So I haven't finished my French paper completely; I'm running into that same inertia I've faced since forever. Don't know why; I'm just trying to accept it and work with it. I can turn it in tomorrow, which I'll do, but I still need to cite my sources and do the bibiography. I'm not living from the inside out, and I'm not sure why.
Honestly, I want meaning and real connections in my life and here I am worrying about a bibliography. This is exactly what's been driving me nuts for so long; I haven't been able to get a real job all these years because I haven't finished college, yet once i reach college, all i'm doing is writing bibliographies, which is meaningless to me. i want to make a difference; i'd rather "do" at this point, rather than "learn", which is so passive. i am sick of not mattering.
I think I've had so many layers of protective mechanisms to deal with the past many years that I can't find myself; can't remember where the pea is under all of these mattresses.
I want meaning in my life the way Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal seem to have it in theirs--recognition for doing what they love. Don't need to be famous; just fulfilled and appreciated.
Terry Bradshaw is on Leno tonight; I adore him and the two of them together are a riot. It's almost like a flirtation contest. I want to put school aside for once and focus on meaning and relevance.
yes, i am resentful that at 29 i'm stuck writing bibliographies instead of having a meaningful job, living on my own in an apartment that i furnish myself, and meeting all kinds of interesting men, which i've never done. it's like i've joined a convent.
i'm terribly resentful. as a kid i was so excited about the rest of my life because i knew there was so much to look forward to. that never happened and now i'm facing the rest of my life decapitated.
I'M SO SICK OF SCHOOL. I WANT A LIFE NOW. I CANNOT MAKE THIS ANY MORE CLEAR.
I ate too much today and am trying not to hate myself. i try to think of exercise i don't hate and can't get myself to do anything, even though i would like to.
[first image is of the infamous "cowbell" sketch from SNL and the second is the patriotism sketch]
enough already with this "student" nonsense. i left school years ago and never returned.
i'm having a hard time getting work done and wonder if "blogging" here may help. my french presentation went much better than I expected (HYPERBOLE). i actually enjoy being in front of a group of people. i'm writing my first french paper in forever (HYPERBOLE), though, and I really want to improve my french because i know that my english writing has improved a lot over the past few years.
I have a theory as to why Sharon Stone is making "Basic Instinct II" after having starred in virtually no successful flicks since the first one. I think she couldn't get any other roles in films she wanted, so she convinced studio execs to put her in a sequel, which they assumed would be something of a hit, so it was a safe gamble. She was in Casino, I think, but she really hasn't done much else. If I'm mistaken, post a comment!
Amy Poehler does a brilliant caricature of Stone on "SNL", and that new female castmember did a devastating Judy Garland impersonation a few weeks back.
Other than that, SNL this season is a disappointment. I don't care for the chemistry of the new cast, even if Andy Samberg is cute. I don't know how I feel about these "digital shorts", but I did like the one with the guy who talked constantly last time. i wished i lived in nyc and met cool people.
So I haven't finished my French paper completely; I'm running into that same inertia I've faced since forever. Don't know why; I'm just trying to accept it and work with it. I can turn it in tomorrow, which I'll do, but I still need to cite my sources and do the bibiography. I'm not living from the inside out, and I'm not sure why.
Honestly, I want meaning and real connections in my life and here I am worrying about a bibliography. This is exactly what's been driving me nuts for so long; I haven't been able to get a real job all these years because I haven't finished college, yet once i reach college, all i'm doing is writing bibliographies, which is meaningless to me. i want to make a difference; i'd rather "do" at this point, rather than "learn", which is so passive. i am sick of not mattering.
I think I've had so many layers of protective mechanisms to deal with the past many years that I can't find myself; can't remember where the pea is under all of these mattresses.
I want meaning in my life the way Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal seem to have it in theirs--recognition for doing what they love. Don't need to be famous; just fulfilled and appreciated.
Terry Bradshaw is on Leno tonight; I adore him and the two of them together are a riot. It's almost like a flirtation contest. I want to put school aside for once and focus on meaning and relevance.
yes, i am resentful that at 29 i'm stuck writing bibliographies instead of having a meaningful job, living on my own in an apartment that i furnish myself, and meeting all kinds of interesting men, which i've never done. it's like i've joined a convent.
i'm terribly resentful. as a kid i was so excited about the rest of my life because i knew there was so much to look forward to. that never happened and now i'm facing the rest of my life decapitated.
I'M SO SICK OF SCHOOL. I WANT A LIFE NOW. I CANNOT MAKE THIS ANY MORE CLEAR.
I ate too much today and am trying not to hate myself. i try to think of exercise i don't hate and can't get myself to do anything, even though i would like to.
[first image is of the infamous "cowbell" sketch from SNL and the second is the patriotism sketch]
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