Every Time I See Michael J. Fox

My love, respect, and admiration for him grow. He deals with his illness with such dignity and grace that it makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside. I'd really like to meet him. He has the courage to go on television, do interviews and make pro-stem cell ads when his illness is at such a stage that he can barely control his movement. That he is willing to humble himself to let us see his weakness is beautiful, and requires more strength than most people know. And I just love him for it. He is an inspiration to me, as was Christopher Reeve. Having bipolar is humbling (humiliating is a better word) too, because you are constantly forced to let others see you in a compromised state.

I felt that way all day today. It's like I wish I could wear a sign around my neck that says "I didn't always used to be like this," i.e., I used to be healthy and alert and "together" once, just like the rest of you. I feel such shame, and it isn't even my fault, and I know that. Where does the healing come from? Where will I find people like me if the illness does not allow me to be myself?

Then the bombastic Rush Limbaugh has the nerve to accuse Fox of "acting" or "pretending" that his symptoms are worse than they are. It's beneath contempt to say anything more about Limbaugh.

Dr. W has raised his fee again, and I'm not happy. Just because most of his clients are billionaires doesn't mean we all are. I've been seeing him for about eight years now.