"Those Knee Socks Are Inaccurate"

I'm running out of ideas for relevant post titles, so I've borrowed this line from tonight's SNL sketch about colonial Williamsburg, where host John C. Reilly plays a colonial-era man who takes being "historically accurate" too far.

I had a bit of a meltdown earlier, and Brenna and Lorian were there. It's OK to let my guard down and let others see who I really am. It's OK to be vulnerable. I'm going through some bipolar post-trauma, and have a lot to say and a lot to (c)ry about. I was surprised at w(h)at I had to s(a)y to my f(r)iends tonight, (a)nd I feel l(i)ke a barrier has been re(m)oved between me and the rest of the world. Honesty really does set us free, and wh(i)le that'(s) a cliché, it wa(s) true tonight. It's OK to be "one of the crowd."

There's a concept in biolog(y) (o)r chemistry where once you have eno(u)gh pressure built up on one side of a barrier, the ions or cells will flow through the barrier to the other side. It's like when there's stuff built up in me, and I let it go, it "normalizes" relations between myself and others. Telling the truth is a democratizing process, and relationships and being human are about vulnerabilty. That creates intimacy, says Dr. Woodrow, and I couldn't agree more. I love that man, he's my, not quite guardian angel...he doesn't have a defined category. He's just Dr. Woodrow, the snazziest dresser this side of anywhere.

Honestly, how many young women get out-dressed by their psychiatrists? What is the world coming to? My mom even asks what he was wearing each time I come back from an appointment. I feel good tonight, because my pressure gradient has been released, I have been normalized, and I shared some of my secrets. They don't belong to me anymore; they're floating somewhere above the atmosphere at this point, moving outward from the earth at a fixed rate, and will not stop until they run into something else, some of my old insecurities or bad jokes, probably(!)

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