i have no desire to get out of bed

none at all. i woke up around nine, and here i am, at 12:21pm, lying in bed, blogging, and watching tv.

not sure why i'm wasting all this time. don't really want to get engaged with life as i know it. wanting to go back to school because it's better than this, but not because it's truly where i want to be.

not applying for internships. can't convince myself to do anything or go anywhere. should exercise, go shopping. no desire to spend money i do not have.

i love christina aguilera, though, i have to say. she has come full circle and found meaning and happiness in her life and that just sends me over the moon because it's what i want for myself. i totally identify with and admire her. she's being interviewed on VH1 and I love everything she says; i also love her new album, it has excellent artistic merit and clearly used a lot of imagination and inspiration, with a 1940's-inspired vintage, jazz-and-blues theme. i get such a good vibe just listening to her interview.

i just can't identify with this whole transition from teenagehood to young-20's. i have no idea what that 's like, and i have no idea what it's like to look at someone in their early twenties who is perfectly healthy and knows how that feels, the way christina does. i will never know what that is like.

i also have no desire to look nice anymore, even when i try to force myself. i miss that, and don't know where it went.

"I am no fan of the internets." --Stephen Colbert

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