Growing Pains
"...Once she knew everything and had uncovered her own worth, she could awaken and share her gifts..."
Bessie Head, "Maru"
not performance art. i wish i could listen to what others were saying instead of interrupting all the time. It's such an irritating and alienating habit. i feel [more than] ready for the next phase of my life. It's been a long time in coming. I cannot wait.
no internship for me. I'd rather spend my energy doing other things--exploring Berkeley, getting off campus more, breathing a bit. i don't want any academic stress this year, and definitely no all-nighters.
sometimes i get petrified thinking about what i will do after graduation, and sometimes I'm sure everything will be fine. as long as i land a job i don't hate, that pays decently, I'll be fine. Lots of personal growth ahead of me; that's my focus. i can't wait to be unleashed upon the world. i don't want to hang out with people who devalue me, but sometimes i end up with them anyway. Very confusing. Sometimes, no matter how hard i try to avoid a given situation, i end up there anyway.
now, must tie myself to this chair, turn off the news, and get some schoolwork done before "The Colbert Report." i think my loneliness/emptiness is providing space for eventual growth and new adventures. That's usually how it works. i just have to keep the faith and realize that there will always be sh*ttiness in life, but nothing can happen from which i cannot recover. If i know anything, i know that.
Bessie Head, "Maru"
not performance art. i wish i could listen to what others were saying instead of interrupting all the time. It's such an irritating and alienating habit. i feel [more than] ready for the next phase of my life. It's been a long time in coming. I cannot wait.
no internship for me. I'd rather spend my energy doing other things--exploring Berkeley, getting off campus more, breathing a bit. i don't want any academic stress this year, and definitely no all-nighters.
sometimes i get petrified thinking about what i will do after graduation, and sometimes I'm sure everything will be fine. as long as i land a job i don't hate, that pays decently, I'll be fine. Lots of personal growth ahead of me; that's my focus. i can't wait to be unleashed upon the world. i don't want to hang out with people who devalue me, but sometimes i end up with them anyway. Very confusing. Sometimes, no matter how hard i try to avoid a given situation, i end up there anyway.
now, must tie myself to this chair, turn off the news, and get some schoolwork done before "The Colbert Report." i think my loneliness/emptiness is providing space for eventual growth and new adventures. That's usually how it works. i just have to keep the faith and realize that there will always be sh*ttiness in life, but nothing can happen from which i cannot recover. If i know anything, i know that.
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