Day of Reckoning
has arrived. i always knew it was there, waiting for me, but here it is. i'm really frightened because i have to face issues i've been able to avoid until now; not because i really wanted to, but as a survival mechanism. it's hard to live inside my head and inhabit my own body again. it's really hard.
i'm afraid of what the next year holds--getting a real job, finding something i like, liking the people i work with, getting to work on time, pleasing my superiors, being able to function, hoping there isn't too much stress. i'm scared because i don't know what lies ahead.
it did help to research internships today, but it was scary. i guess the next step is writing out cover letters, making sure my resume is accurate, and determining which writing samples i'll want to use. then they might ask me in for an interview. i'm out of town next week, and then school starts. that's always a little stressful, what with moving in, getting to class, doing the proper paperwork, etc. i did alienate some people last year (i think)--i can never tell whose fault it is, if there is one--and i'm worried about not getting along with people this year. i'm worried about never learning how to stand up for myself.
on a better note, i have lost 15 pounds, to my astonishment, in about a month. i stopped eating flour and sugar and have been downing veggies with protein and whole grains. it's amazing the effect it has. i bought some new clothes today in a smaller size.
by the way, who lives in yountville? i need to start paying attention to myself again, reasonable expectations, taking care of myself first.
"The terror alert has been elevated to brown--someone spilled coffee on the chart." Stephen Colbert
i'm afraid of what the next year holds--getting a real job, finding something i like, liking the people i work with, getting to work on time, pleasing my superiors, being able to function, hoping there isn't too much stress. i'm scared because i don't know what lies ahead.
it did help to research internships today, but it was scary. i guess the next step is writing out cover letters, making sure my resume is accurate, and determining which writing samples i'll want to use. then they might ask me in for an interview. i'm out of town next week, and then school starts. that's always a little stressful, what with moving in, getting to class, doing the proper paperwork, etc. i did alienate some people last year (i think)--i can never tell whose fault it is, if there is one--and i'm worried about not getting along with people this year. i'm worried about never learning how to stand up for myself.
on a better note, i have lost 15 pounds, to my astonishment, in about a month. i stopped eating flour and sugar and have been downing veggies with protein and whole grains. it's amazing the effect it has. i bought some new clothes today in a smaller size.
by the way, who lives in yountville? i need to start paying attention to myself again, reasonable expectations, taking care of myself first.
"The terror alert has been elevated to brown--someone spilled coffee on the chart." Stephen Colbert
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